Cardiac Rehabilitation Week Feb 10-16
Reflections from a heart patient ”My ReBirthday”
Today is my eighth rebirthday. Something that most people who have suffered heart failure never get to experience. Eight years ago I was dying, a little bit more every day and my family could only sit and watch. Then late one afternoon I went into surgery and they implanted my pacemaker/defibrillator. I slept most of that evening and night and when I woke up the next morning, I felt alive. I walked the halls, I took a shower and went home. I didn’t have to hold the railing to get up the steps, I wasn’t gasping for breath. I hurt like hell from the surgery and the implant in my chest felt like it weighed 15 pounds, but it was like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It had…the weight of death.
In that eight wonderful years I was given, I have watched my son marry the love of his life; I have gotten to know my husband in ways you only can know someone after 33 years. I learned to sort the really important things in life from the shit and to throw away that shit. I learned that time is precious and oh so fleeting. I learned that there may not be a tomorrow, but there is always today and today is all that matters.
In these eight years, I have found friends and made them family. I have experienced and given love like I never knew I could. I began walking the path of the Buddha and discovered peace and serenity to the point where death no longer frightens me, it’s just another adventure.
Sometime this yea,r I will be getting my implant replaced with a new one (I tend to wear out batteries faster than most…go figure). It’s a good thing because I have great plans. I have gardens to plant, places to go and things to do. I just got my blue belt in Kung Fu and black is only a half a battery away. I plan on being here for those two years too! I will never give up on life and even though I don’t fear it, death will have to hunt me down.
Thank you to all the people who made this new life possible, Not just the doctors and nurses that made me bionic, they only gave me life, but the people who have made it worth living. To my family, to my friends, to the people who have touched me and didn’t even realize it, THANK YOU. I love you and am so very grateful that I got this time to love you.